Thursday, May 21, 2009

Rules for Wedding Season

As May has almost passed us by, and June is knocking on our door, it seems timely that we discuss wedding dining etiquette, or making it through. Remember, if all else fails, just take advantage of the open bar (with a few rolls packed in the belly of course).

1. Do not order the steak - Whether the reason is to make the most "bang for your buck" (or bath towels/blender, if you will) or you just prefer red meat, don't make this mistake. Steak will ultimately be mass-prepared and dry (usually served with some kind of sauce and/or gravy for re-hydration). Unless the event you are attending is at a restaurant and for 10 or less, you are much better off with the fish or vegetarian entree, if available. Pasta usually accompanies such and can be prepared quickly and still remain edible. Plus, with a less popular dish, you get the added benefit of more attention to detail.
2. Eat before the event - Ultimately, these things always take longer than expected. There's the ceremony, photos, the commute to the reception, and then introductions. After that, surely you will be sat at the table that lustfully watches everyone else's salads pass you by on the way to their recipients. Instead of listening to the chorus of your belly accompany the wedding march, grab a snack pre-event. 3 hours later, when you finally start dinner, you will be happy you did.
3. Sauce on the side - Hotel kitchens are well aware that the food they serve at conferences, banquets, meetings, and lest we forget, weddings, is crap. Thus, everything, even the salad and the veggies, is covered in a oil-rich bernaise or salad dressing, or something equally fattening. Though the waiter may snear when you ask for sauce on the side, you will save yourself a lack of bulge in whatever satin number you have shimmied into. If not enough calories saved, keep passing the bread without partaking. Whatever you do, however....
4. Ultimately, the cake is the best part - Forget your diet. Caloric provisions noted in paragraph 3 can also help balance things. Ultimately, the salad and the entrees suck. It's part of the routine. One should, never, however, say no to the cake. Even if the frosting is waxy (usually for decorative purposes), it can be put aside, and the cake itself will be generally scrumptious (I'm not claiming there aren't exceptions). Prepared by a bakery, not a caterer or hotel kitchen, a little TLC has gone into the confectionary course and it shows.
5. Be reasonable - Just last week, we headed to the Wendy's drive-thru post-reception, groom in tow, to grab a frosty and chicken sandwiches, respectively. Reason being, everyone kept their expectations low and was then pleasantly surprised by a nice meal. After sitting around past our bedtimes, we were all hungry again for what C calls "fourth meal".

1 comment:

Manimal said...

One more rule - make sure to eat before you leave for the destination wedding itself - you may not even make it there and need fuel for the waits that follow :)